Almost Sober
by Riley S
Summary: “I never got word from you. Two years Syaoran…two years.” I say looking down at my black coffee swireling in my mug. “How do you know im not over you?”
1. Almost Lover

Disclaimer: "Almost Lover" is By: A Fine Frenzy. I strongly suggest you all go out and by the album because it is wonderful. And I don't own CCS…no matter how much I complain.

**By Riley S**

"Sakura…I'm leaving…"

_**Your fingertips across my skin  
The palm trees swaying in the wind  
Images**_

I stair blankly at Syaoran. We are sitting on the bench at the park after school. After knowing each other for ten years we had grown very close. To think we use to hate each other, always fighting when we first met. Yet somehow that hatred turned into friendship…now unrequited love.

I have been in love with Syaoran for nearly four years. On my sixteenth birthday when he threw me that huge surprise party…he filled the room with flowers and balloons and my friends. When I saw him, it was like the first time I was looking at him. His eyes filled with amusement and a small smile on his lips as he looked at my shocked expression when I entered the room.

"Sakura…" Syaoran questions, bringing me out of my daydream. I turn my emerald eyes to him.

"I'm sorry…" I manage to mumble out before running off in the direction of my house.

_**You sang me Spanish lullabies  
The sweetest sadness in your eyes  
Clever trick**_

Later that night I'm sitting at my desk looking at a picture of Syaoran and I. Tomoyo took it last year on New Years. Syaoran has his arm around me; fireworks are going off in the background. I'm holding a sparkler in my hand a huge grin on my face. We are both smiling blissfully at the camera.

My cell phone rings again. This time it's Tomoyo, I recognize the ring tone I have for her.

"Hello?" I say into the phone as I flip it open.

"Are you okay?" She sounds worried on the other line. "Syaoran called me and said you ran off…." I don't respond. "He is worried about you. I'm sorry Sakura…"

"Me too…" My voice sounds hallow even to my ears.

_**I never want to see you unhappy  
I thought you'd want the same for me**_

The next day at school Syaoran doesn't say a word to me. I guess he is still shocked by my reaction to the news. The teacher announces to the class that Syaoran will be leaving at the end of the week. Some girls in class break out in tears over the news. I just sit there and don't say anything.

Around noon Tomoyo meets up with me for lunch. We managed to work out our college courses so we could still have lunch together at least twice a week. She is talking about her date with Eriol the other night; I know she is trying to help me not think about Syaoran.

I look across the quad to see him sitting with Eriol in front of the library. He is looking at me, which makes me turn my gaze quickly.

"Tell him." Tomoyo says, and I look at her quizzically. "You have to tell him before he goes." I nod without even realizing it and pack up the rest of my lunch to head off to my next class.

_**Goodbye, my almost lover  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream  
I'm trying not to think about you  
Can't you just let me be?**_

"kura…" Syaoran says behind me making me stop in my tracks. I was heading back home after class. I feel my cheeks burn a little at his nickname for me.

Slowly I turn around and look up to the expecting amber eyes of Syaoran.

"Syaoran…" I say.

"I'm sorry…" He takes a step towards me. "I don't want to. But mother is making me, she says it's about time I return home for my responsibilities as clan leader." I nod a little as he says this.

_**So long, my luckless romance  
My back is turned on you  
I should've known you'd bring me heartache  
Almost lovers always do**_

"Sakura…" He says taking another step towards me before enveloping me into a hug. I feel all my walls break down at this simple gesture. My knees weaken and I fall into his arms. My arms somehow manage to find their way around his waist as I hold onto the back of his shirt in fistfuls.

"I leave Saturday." He says into my hair as he holds onto me.

_**We walked along a crowded street  
You took my hand and danced with me  
Images**_

The next day I didn't go to my classes. I lay in bed until noon when my phone went off. I looked at the screen to see a picture of Syaoran from his birthday I took on my cell.

"Meet me at the coffee shop in a half an hour." He says as I pick up the phone. He doesn't even wait for a response before hanging up; he probably knows I would argue with him.

As I walk into the coffee shop forty five minutes later I see Syaoran sitting in a corner in the back of the shop, our normal spot.

"I'm glad you came." I smile a little at this as I order some coffee from the waitress.

"Did you think I wouldn't?" I ask. He shrugs at this before looking up at me. His eyes look sad as he looks at me.

"I'll miss you." He says moving a little closer to me. I can feel a tear slide down my cheek. Syaoran moves his hand to wipe away my lone tear. That's when I notice how close he was to me. "I'll miss you." He repeats before leaning down and kissing me.

_**And when you left you kissed my lips  
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no**_

The next day is the day before he leaves. He is busy packing and asked me if I would come over to help him. I reluctantly agreed. Eriol is already there along with Tomoyo by the time I arrive around two in the afternoon. Most of his kitchen and living room are packed up.

I smile a little as I enter his apartment. He had lived here for ten years. At first with his butler until Syaoran turned sixteen then they let him live by himself. I glance at the boxes sitting on the kitchen counter, they are full of kitchen utensils and other things he had managed to accumulate over the years. Syaoran was in his room going through his clothes. Tomoyo and Eriol where looking over his movies and DVD cables trying to sort everything out.

I walk into Syaorans' bedroom he is sorting out the clothes in his closet and in his dresser. He smiles as I walk in.

"Hey you made it!" he says as he walks over to give me a hug.

"Yea…" I say a little uneasy. Neither one of us said anything about our kiss after it happened yesterday. We just acted as if nothing had happened. I mean friends don't kiss each other.

We had spent the rest of the day going threw his clothes and some things we found stuffed in the back of his closet. Tomoyo and Eriol put on an old video of us that Tomoyo had taped. It was the video of my sixteenth birthday.

_**I never want to see you unhappy  
I thought you'd want the same for me**_

"Surprise!!" Everyone in the video was yelling as a bewildered younger me walked into a room full of people. The smile on my face brightened as I saw Syaoran I was walking over and giving him a huge hug.

"You know…" Syaoran said behind me causing me turn my attention away from the tv, "That's when I realized…"

I look at him confused for a moment before returning to the tv to see the younger me dancing with Syaoran during my party.

"It was then when I realized what this feeling was…" He says behind me again, putting a hand onto my shoulder.

_**Goodbye, my almost lover  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream  
I'm trying not to think about you  
Can't you just let me be?  
So long, my luckless romance  
My back is turned on you  
I should've known you'd bring me heartache  
Almost lovers always do**_

Eriol had interrupted us before either one of could say anything that time. Tomoyo was shooting him dirty looks the rest of the night.

That night I didn't sleep a wink, I had a feeling neither did Syaoran.

I got myself up early that morning and took a long shower. After changing and fixing my hair I sat at my desk and looked at the picture of Syaoran and me again. His eyes seemed so peaceful in this picture, yet they seem to carry an emotion I may have never noticed before. It was hidden in the back of his eyes.

I slowly walked myself over to Syaoran apartment after trying, and unsuccessfully, eating breakfast. Syaoran was up and sitting at the kitchen counter when I arrived. He looked up sadly at me as I walked in. He had left the front door open for me.

_**I cannot go to the ocean  
I cannot drive the streets at night  
I cannot wake up in the morning  
Without you on my mind  
**_

He had left that day, neither one of saying what we really wanted to say to each other. After a long hug and a tearful goodbye he kissed me lightly on the lips and told me he would write and call whenever he got the chance.

I never received a letter of phone call from him. Two years later I am putting on my graduation robe ready to graduate from college. I take a glance at my desk. That picture of us from New Years is still sitting on my desk. Tomoyo asked me once why I kept it when he had made no effort to contact me. I just shrugged, but I know why I kept it.

_**So you're gone and I'm haunted  
And I bet you are just fine  
Did I make it that easy  
To walk right in and out of my life?**_

After the ceremony Tomoyo took me and a bunch of friends out to eat. We all sat around eating and laughing. We where recalling one of the most proud moment in our entire lives. Being done with school.

As I walked back from the bathroom I spotted someone who looked familiar to me, across the room. Messy chestnut hair was sticking up everywhere and amber eyes staring intently at the girl next to him. A man at the table stood up to speak, raising his wine glass as he did so.

"Syaoran, the man the legend, and Kiyo his wonderful fiancé. They are a match made for each other. Together they will be the Li clan to new heights. The elders could not have picked a better match for dear Syaoran! To a Tokyo wedding bringing together China and Japans largest clans!"

_**Goodbye, my almost lover  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream  
I'm trying not to think about you  
Can't you just let me be?**_

They all had raised their glasses to cheer each other, and I thought I saw a sad smile across Syaoran lips. His eyes scanned his party before looking back at me. For a moment there was surprise written on his face before he recomposed himself. His arm still around the girl, her long black hair tumbling down her shoulders and dark brown eyes smiling happily. They looked good together.

He quickly excused himself from the party and got up to walk in my direction. I turned around and tried my hardest to not think about him and his fiancé.

_**So long, my luckless romance  
My back is turned on you  
I should've known you'd bring me heartache**_

He must have followed me all the way back to my party, because Tomoyo looked like she was about to make a comment on it as I walked over to the table. I turned my head slightly to see Syaoran from a distance watching me. His eyes sad and full of longing. I tried to put him out of my mind as I raised my glass to congratulate all of my friends and myself on our achievement.

I can't think about him now. It's been two years and he is engaged…he doesn't need me.

Tomoyo gave me a small sad smile as she raised her glass to my cheers. I never did tell him how I felt, she always told me I should have. But losing an unrequited love might now be as bad as loosing a real love.

_**Almost lovers always do**_

_I still love you…_

**I Hope you all enjoyed this fic, I don't normally write angst fics but this song is so wonderful and beautiful I couldn't help myself. I do hope that some of you may have noticed how I set up Syaoran and his Fiancé, so it's not as horrible as I could have been. **

**Also the last line is someone thinking, Sakura or Syaoran...i don't know use your imagination because I won't tell.**

**Please review!!**

**Again any ideas or songs let me know I will try my hardest. **

**Riley S**

"I never thought I could love anyone but myself.  
Now I know I can't love anyone but you." – Ingrid Michaelson "Die Alone."


	2. Sober

**SOBER**

**By Riley S**

"Sakura?" I turn around to face my best friend with a worried expression on her face.

I smile lightly looking at her. "I'm okay." I say placing the picture frame that has been sitting on my desk for years into a box.

_**And I don't know  
This could break my heart or save me**_

I graduated three month ago from college, now Tomoyo and I where officially moving out together. Her clothing company had taken off, and I was her top model. Not what I went to school for but I was happy. I also had a job on the side I got hired at right after graduation. I have been working at as a museum curator at a small museum in Tokyo, they are very flexible with my schedule with Tomoyo so it works perfectly.

_**Nothing's real  
Until you let go completely**_

I'd like to say I haven't thought about Syaoran since I saw him at that dinner. But I think about him constantly. I dream about him, sometimes I think I can hear him calling my name late at night.

He is probably married now, out on a honeymoon in some tropical place. He is probably happy.

_**So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving  
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me**_

"Are you excited?" Tomoyo asks me as we are standing outside our new studio apartment door.

"Yes! Now open it!!" I say excitedly as she puts the key in the lock and opens the door for us.

"All us Sakura! All us!" she says as she swings the door open to our new home.

_**Three months and I'm still sober  
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers  
But I know it's never really over**_

"I'm not really wearing this am I?" I say looking at Tomoyo who has stars in her eyes staring at me excitedly.

"But you look wonderful!!" She says walking over to me. I am in a pink one piece bathing suite. It is very low cut and backless.

"When did you go into swim wear?" I ask looking at myself in the mirror. "You never told me."

"Because I knew you would object. But it looks just so wonderful on you Saks!" She is pulling some of the strings on the back to make sure it fits me right. "The show is tomorrow so you cant back out now!" I give her a dirty look at this.

"Fine." I say grumbling.

"Oy Sakura looking good!" A voice behind me calls out; I turn around to see Yoko standing behind me. She is another one of Tomoyo's models. She is wearing jeans and a baggy shirt, her eyes are covered with large shades and she is holding a newspaper. "You're in the paper Tomoyo!" She says excitedly handing us the paper.

We both glance at it holding it folded to see a picture of Tomoyo and me smiling at the camera. It was a picture taken at her last show and the article was talking about her new line and her models.

After Tomoyo is done looking at the paper I unfold it only to be greeted with a picture of Syaoran.

_**And I don't know  
I could crash and burn but maybe  
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me**_

The article talks about Syaoran and his marriage to Kiyo. It is suppose to be the biggest wedding of the year and its being held here in Tokyo. It says it is being held in a week.

Syaoran looks happy in the picture. He is standing next to Kiyo, her long hair gracing her shoulders and a smile is plastered on her face. Syaorans' smile looks a little irritated. He never did like camera very much I remember.

Tomoyo sees me looking at the paper and comes behind me to see what I am looking at. I can hear her gasp a little when she sees the article.

"Sakura…" She sounds concerned….

"Here. I need to change." I hand her the paper and walk to the changing room.

_**So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right  
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time**_

The fashion show went smoothly threw. No one fell or tripped and everyone loved the designs. We are heading to the after party one of Tomoyo's clients is having for her. The press is standing outside the red carpet leading into the restaurant where the party is.

I see Tomoyo answering some questions ahead of me.

"What did you think of the line Sakura?" one of the press guys asks me. I turn to answer him before I hear commotion behind me. Everyone is scrambling to get to someone who has just arrived. I turn to look at who it is when someone yelling answers it.

"It's Li, Syaoran and his fiancé!"

_**Three months and I'm still breathing  
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know  
It's never really over, no**_

I somehow manage to make it into the party and go straight for the bar and grab a glass of wine.

_Syaoran…_

I didn't even answer the man's question; I just fled inside upon hearing he was here. I look out into the crowd trying to find Tomoyo or one of the other models.

"I love your clothes!" I hear someone behind me gush. I turn to see a tall girl with long dark hair and dark eyes give Tomoyo a hug. Tomoyo looks a little shocked and doesn't return the hug to the girl. I suddenly recognize her…_Kiyo…_

behind her I can see Syaoran. He is much taller and his hair is just as messy as ever and he is looking at Tomoyo, who is looking shocked at him.

Just as I turn to flee I hear Kiyo call out to me. "Sakura!" I turn to see her excitedly walk over to me. "I have always wanted to meet you!" She says shaking my hand. "You are my favorite model!" She gush's to me. I just stand there not able to say anything as Syaoran comes up behind her.

I can't read his expression, it's full of Sorrow and hope and regret. Its full of so many emotions I'm not use to seeing on his face.

"You did wonderful." He says looking at me. His deep eyes staring straight into my soul.

"T-Thanks…" I somehow mumble out, before lifting my glass of wine to my lips.

_**Wake up**_

I lay in bed the next day, I don't want to do anything. I keep repeating seeing Syaoran over and over in my head. I can hear Tomoyo moving around the apartment. She comes to my room at one point to offer me some food which I decline.

_**Three months and I'm still standing here  
Three months and I'm getting better yeah  
Three months and I still am**_

The day after that I manage to pull myself out of bed. I went to the coffee shop down the street and ordered some coffee and read the paper. There was a review of Tomoyo's show in it and I wanted to see what the critics were saying about it.

I go threw the next couple days in a daze not really able to function. I go to work and come back, not really talking to anyone or doing much.

I know Tomoyo is worried about me. I get like this every time. Anytime something reminds me of him I become mute and unable to do anything.

Three days later I come out of it.

_I'm better then him…_I tell myself looking in the mirror getting dressed for work in the morning.

_I'm better then her. _I say tying my hair back, finally managing to get a smile on my face.

_**Three months and it's still harder now  
Three months I've been living here without you now  
Three months yeah, three months**_

On the day of his wedding it was all the news was reporting, it was all over the paper and the radio. It was like the world wouldn't let me forget I would loose him forever today.

I went to the coffee shop that day to try and avoid everything that was happening.

I sat silently drinking my coffee and reading a book I had bought not long before.

_Don't think of it…_I kept trying to tell myself. The coffee shop was pretty empty that day, so when the bell went off signaling someone had walked in I couldn't help but look up.

_Syaoran…?_

_**Three months and I'm still breathing  
Three months and I still remember it  
Three months and I wake up**_

He glanced around the shop for a moment before his eyes landed on me. He was in a tux his hair as neat as I have ever seen it, yet it was still messy by anyone's standards. His amber eyes where fixed on me as he walked to the back of the shop and stood over me.

"Hi…" He said before taking a seat next to me.

"What…?" I whispered before setting my book down. _You're suppose to be getting married…_

As if reading my mind he looks away before saying something, "I couldn't."

"Syaoran…"I finally manage to say his name, making him look at me. "Why?"

"When I saw you last week. I knew that no matter what I couldn't marry her." He says looking at me straight in the eyes. "I just…couldn't"

I don't say anything for a moment before answering him, "I never got word from you. Two years Syaoran…two years." I say looking down at my black coffee swireling in my mug. "How do you know im not over you?" I dare him.

"When I saw you at your dinner, and I was at mine. I knew. The look on our face. It's the same as now. I should have told you all those years ago."

"I knew…I just didn't want to believe it since you left me."

"I had to." He says simply defending himself.

"Well what do you want me to do now!?" I spit out.

He looks down for a moment and pulls something out of his pocket.

A ring.

He is looking at it before looking at me.

"Marry me."

_**Three months and I'm still sober  
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers**_

**How did we all like it? I don't know if it fit the story very well, but I loved the song and I really liked the one I did to "Almost Lover" and wanted to do a little two shot for it. **

**The song is "Sober" by Kelly Clarkson. It's on her new CD ****My December**

**Let me know what you all think of it. (I think the first one was better…but that's just me.)**

**Please REVIEW!!!**

**Riley S**

"_Sakura and Syaoran are just two star cross lovers who's lives are intertwined by the Clow cards, to become the greatest romance of all time…"_


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